Feb 13

WHAT'S ON MISSOULA'S "BUCKET" LIST?

Ah, the bucket list; that collection of things we want to experience before we expire. For some folks, that list is comprised of adventures waiting to be had: zip lines and sky dives and ascents and descents and safaris and expeditions. For others, the list is about making amends, spiritual enlightenment, finding peace and quiet. For others still, it’s about the perfect meal, the perfect drink, the perfect vacation.
Because I refuse to come to terms with my own mortality, I haven’t developed much of personal bucket list. If I had, I suspect it would involve some sort of sandwich.
The notion of Missoula having a bucket list is interesting, because it assumes that our diverse citizenry could agree on what should be on the list. As the person lucky enough to serve as this city’s mayor, I can tell you that is a challenge.
Let’s propose for example, that someone were to propose something pretty safe for the list, such as “We’d like to see the perfect rainbow.” Sounds benign, right?
Here’s an excerpt from the transcript of an imaginary public hearing on the question of whether to add “We’d like to see the perfect rainbow” to the Missoula bucket list:

CITIZEN A: I love the idea of seeing the perfect rainbow.
CITIZEN B: I like rainbows as much as anybody, but have we considered safety at all? Let’s say you’re driving, and suddenly you see this perfect rainbow, you’re distracted, you drop your cell phone and crash into the car in front of you, which has stopped for an urban unicorn crossing the street. A unicorn, you say? Yes, because if you think you’re ever going to see the perfect rainbow, you must believe in unicorns, too.
CITIZEN C: I hate unicorns. They eat my marigolds. I know they say unicorns don’t eat marigolds, but that’s a load of hooey. They also eat garden gnomes. By the dozens. Seriously.
CITIZEN D: Those gnomes are made in sweatshops.
CITIZEN E: Why aren’t we making gnomes in America?
CITIZEN F: Our country wouldn’t need gnomes is we all grow our own food and use chickens to guard our gardens against predators, like unicorns and wolves. They run in packs.
CITIZEN G: I like that kid who turns into a wolf in those “Twilight” movies.
CITIZEN H: Did you see “Lincoln”?
CITIZEN A: I’m sorry, but can we get back to the rainbow issue?
CITIZEN E: Hey, don’t try to shove this rainbow thing down our throats!

So, while it’s pretty risky to speculate as to what Missoulians might want on a community bucket list, I’ll take a shot at it: Keep our place clean, keep it safe, keep it beautiful, keep it friendly, keep it fun, keep it prosperous, keep its traditions, keep trying new things, keep it Missoula, Montana, home to a whole bunch of folks who can agree on at least one thing: we love the place

Jan 21

Dear John // What are your personal resolutions for the New Year?

Posted in Dear John

DearJohn

I shouldn’t really have any personal resolutions, frankly, because evidence clearly suggests that I am, largely, without personal resolve.
I suppose I became aware of the concept of the new year’s resolution when I was in grade school and the grown-ups would talk about quitting all manner of things and starting all manner of things. Ending habits and beginning habits. I was probably 10 or so when I decided I ought to resolve to do something (or not do something) in the new year and I’m guessing that first resolution was about losing weight.
Every resolution since then, almost 40 of them, have been about losing weight. Or keeping weight off. (But mostly about losing weight.)
If the measure of a successful resolution is that you did what you said you were going to do, I’ve had some success over the years. If the measure, however, involves never having to make the same resolution again, well, I’m not so successful.
I used to think it was just me. I assumed that everyone else was completely squared away and I was the only person on the planet who couldn’t resist eating mayonnaise out of the jar with a spoon made out of bacon. (And, really, that may be just me.)
But as I’ve come to know lots of folks a little bit, it turns out that everyone’s got something and the person who appears utterly secure can secretly be brought to his or her knees by a cutting remark, a song, a memory, a smell that reminds you of your dad when he came home from work, a cigarette, a drink, a donut, a pill, a mirror, an ailment or countless other chinks in our armor.
And most of the time, those insecurities resist the easy fix. Sometimes they resist the hard fix.
Yet year after year after year, we make these resolutions to ourselves, others and the universe that the next year will be better than the last, that hope springs eternal, that we are not the product of our weaknesses but instead the product of our commitment to overcome them, our willingness to try to be better, whatever that means, as of 12:01 a.m. January 1, Two-Thousand-Whatever.
It’s pretty remarkable really. The odds are against us, I reckon. My record suggests that the smart money is on a failed resolution and a reasonable person would simply make no promises to change because he can’t keep those promises.
But, because I can’t, try as I may, shake the bad case of optimism I’ve suffered over the years, I’m going to resolve, once again, to lose weight. Anything is possible in 2013, right? And in a shiny new year, untarnished by the small disappointments that accumulate as the months roll along, we can do it, whatever it is.
And if it ain’t this year, it’ll be the next, because that’s just the way it’s got to be.
Happy New Year, Missoula. I applaud your resolve.

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